Saturday, May 25, 2013

For a Group Considering Gay Suicides

      Wednesday, 27 August 1980:  9:40 A.M.

       Having just lost his lover, about to lose his job,
       Tom McGuire, 29, V.A. clerk
       (“where about 2200 employees work”)
       climbed from the 13th floor to the 14th floor,

         broke a window and waited 4 hours.

         Tom McGuire, undone by desire:  “…so that
         …others…may not resort to the same
         violent ordeal I am about to endure….
         Using hard core drugs and practically
         living in bath houses hoping to find
         a lover through sex and drugs…
         hoping that I might meet my dreamboy
         through drugs…still…playing this routine
         until this very day….”  in the note he leaves.

         McGuire’s desire, gone through lust into dust;
         his golden trust turned to rust with what
         the poet Rossetti felt:  “Beauty without
         the beloved is a sword through the heart.”

         Stephanie, another clerk, waiting below:
         “I guess some people…expect him to jump
         …office workers bored with…
         that Monday to Friday routine.”

         He was heard to shout,

        “Fuck it.  Fuck everything!”


         The San Francisco Chronicle
                            August 28, 1980:
         “Police held…surging crowd…tried…
         closer look…crumpled body…before…
         rescue crew draped…cover over…”

         He passed 14 floors
         with a neglected friend
         reflected in the glass.

James McColley Eilers

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